The title of this blog is a quote I read in some forum somewhere on EC. It was written by a mom who was quoting a friend of hers, a Chinese woman. EC, of course, is the normal practice in China, and this woman had no patience with the American practice of putting babies in diapers for so long. Naturally, the quote sparked quite a discussion on the forum, because "potty pauses" are considered extremely common among EC'ers. There are several times in a baby's developmental stage when they're generally expected: when they become mobile around six months, when they become more independent around 12 months, and of course around every developmental stage and tooth that comes in.
But I do think the anonymous quoted Chinese woman had a point, and it is this: people in this country who are trying to learn EC tend to be too quick to resort to diapers. We just don't know any other way, and even if your friends and family are supportive of EC, there's still a lot of pressure to use diapers. You can't go out in public, or even have friends over at your house, with a diaperless baby without getting some funny looks. (For what it's worth, I've never gone in public without a back-up diaper.) It's just too weird in our culture. And so I think that when EC doesn't seem to be working, the automatic response is to say it's a potty pause and to go back to diapers, instead of to say my baby is communicating something, and I need to figure out what.
It's similar to the issue of breastfeeding, actually. And I hope this won't offend anyone who had trouble breastfeeding, because I know I have a lot of friends who really wanted to, and tried their best, and did everything that was recommended, and still had to use formula. But I think there's a real dearth of resources in our culture who can offer other techniques, other options, other methods for breastfeeding. For many moms, they get a couple of options, and those don't work, and then they don't know what else to do. And it's the same thing with EC, only much more so. Nobody knows what else to try--nobody knows what the baby could need, or what they could be trying to communicate by not peeing in the way they used to, so we just give up temporarily and use diapers.
Anyway, so that Chinese woman has become my mantra when Anastasia won't pee on cue. There is no potty pause, I tell myself, so what is it that she needs or wants now?
It worked when she turned mobile at seven months--after a few days, I figured out that she wanted to pee in different locations, and that's worked ever since. But now at 15 months, she's had about a week of simply never telling me when she needs to pee and refusing to go every time I take her. I kept taking her, trying different locations and different positions, but it didn't help at all. Finally yesterday I just decided to have an EC-free day, because I was tired of trying. And then I had an idea.
I'd read in some forums about babies wanting more independence at this age. So I thought, why not? It's worth a try. This morning I took her nighttime diaper off and brought out her Baby Bjorn Little Potty, the tiny little potty that's small enough for babies this age to climb onto on their own. She hasn't used it much at all, because she doesn't like to be held over it. But I explained to her this morning that it's her own little potty, and if she needs to go potty, she can go sit on it all by herself and go. She seemed quite pleased. And about fifteen minutes later, she started reaching for the potty and trying to climb over Daddy's legs.
"You want the potty?" Matt asked. Anastasia nodded and signed potty. So we helped her walk over there. She held Matt's hand to climb onto it, and sure enough, then she peed! All by herself, she initiated going and went! I'm so excited.
So now it's been about an hour, and she's diaper-free again. We'll probably have several accidents today. But I don't mind. We're trying something new. I think she might actually be on her way to becoming an EC graduate.
3.28.2009
other tricks Anastasia has learned recently
Anastasia has started a lot of new tricks in the past week, so I thought I'd write them down so I don't forget. A few of the cutest:
* Hugging. She hugs everything. First she would "Hug Mama" or "Hug Dada"--which she always does cheek first. She leans her head against you, then wraps her arms around you as far as she can reach, and then pats you with one hand. It's adorable. But lately she hugs everything. She hugs her toys; she hugs the floor; she hugs the wall; the other day when she wanted a bath, she hugged the side of the bathtub. (Of course I had to give her a bath then, only because it was so incredibly cute.)
* Saying "no." Not in words. She just shakes her head. It started the other day when I was trying to give her some teething medicine; she pulled her face away and then shook her head violently back and forth. "You don't want the medicine?" I asked, and she shook her head again. "No no no no no!" I said. "Are you saying, 'No no no no no!'?" She kept shaking her head, laughing a little now, and it's quickly become one of her favorite games. She definitely knows what it means, though, and uses it when she doesn't want something. I really hope to catch this on camera sometime soon, while it's still so adorably cute, so I can look back at it once she starts the real toddler tantrums and remember how darling her first "nos" were.
* Reading. She loves books (how could she not, with me for a mom?). I've always read while I nursed her, and now sometimes when I'm trying to nurse her to sleep, she'll roll away, sit up, crawl over to her own books, and sit there and turn the pages, watching me as she does so for approval. "See?" she's clearly thinking. "I can read my own book, just like Mommy!"
* Follow directions. She'll do all sorts of cute things when prompted: hugging, of course, is one of her favorites, but she'll also clap her hands, dance, pat the dog (or Daddy), and touch her tongue to her nose. (The last one is probably my favorite.)
* Hugging. She hugs everything. First she would "Hug Mama" or "Hug Dada"--which she always does cheek first. She leans her head against you, then wraps her arms around you as far as she can reach, and then pats you with one hand. It's adorable. But lately she hugs everything. She hugs her toys; she hugs the floor; she hugs the wall; the other day when she wanted a bath, she hugged the side of the bathtub. (Of course I had to give her a bath then, only because it was so incredibly cute.)
* Saying "no." Not in words. She just shakes her head. It started the other day when I was trying to give her some teething medicine; she pulled her face away and then shook her head violently back and forth. "You don't want the medicine?" I asked, and she shook her head again. "No no no no no!" I said. "Are you saying, 'No no no no no!'?" She kept shaking her head, laughing a little now, and it's quickly become one of her favorite games. She definitely knows what it means, though, and uses it when she doesn't want something. I really hope to catch this on camera sometime soon, while it's still so adorably cute, so I can look back at it once she starts the real toddler tantrums and remember how darling her first "nos" were.
* Reading. She loves books (how could she not, with me for a mom?). I've always read while I nursed her, and now sometimes when I'm trying to nurse her to sleep, she'll roll away, sit up, crawl over to her own books, and sit there and turn the pages, watching me as she does so for approval. "See?" she's clearly thinking. "I can read my own book, just like Mommy!"
* Follow directions. She'll do all sorts of cute things when prompted: hugging, of course, is one of her favorites, but she'll also clap her hands, dance, pat the dog (or Daddy), and touch her tongue to her nose. (The last one is probably my favorite.)
3.27.2009
walking!
ANASTASIA WALKED TODAY!!!!!!!
This morning she was holding my hand and walking, which she's been doing for a while, and I got her to let go of my fingers while encouraging her to keep going. She took three or four steps before she went back to crawling.
Then, later this evening, she was practicing standing. She stood up without holding onto anything for about 45 seconds. I got in front of her and held my hands out toward her, and she walked toward me. She took about ten steps before she crouched down and then sat down.
The first time it happened, I screamed so much that everyone in the house came running. I'm so excited! My baby is walking!!!
This morning she was holding my hand and walking, which she's been doing for a while, and I got her to let go of my fingers while encouraging her to keep going. She took three or four steps before she went back to crawling.
Then, later this evening, she was practicing standing. She stood up without holding onto anything for about 45 seconds. I got in front of her and held my hands out toward her, and she walked toward me. She took about ten steps before she crouched down and then sat down.
The first time it happened, I screamed so much that everyone in the house came running. I'm so excited! My baby is walking!!!
3.04.2009
one year well visit
On March 3 Anastasia had her one-year checkup with the pediatrician. I had originally intended to start her on vaccinations then, but, well, something didn't just feel right about it. Probably I'm just scared about it, but I decided to wait a few more months. I would like for her to be a little more verbal before we start, in the hopes that if something goes wrong, she'll be able to tell me where it hurts, at least.
Anyway, here are her stats from the visit:
Weight: 18.98 pounds (and I was sure she'd be 20 pounds and able to face front in the car seat!)
Length: 29.4 inches
Head: 18.1 inches
Since we didn't do much and didn't have much to discuss, the only thing I could find to be annoyed about this visit was the sample menu for a one year old. (I always have to find something to be annoyed with the pediatrician about!) Mostly it annoyed me because it seemed to consist primarily of dairy. Dairy and eggs are the only things we're still avoiding feeding her, because Matt was severely allergic to them as a child, and we figure that the longer we can avoid them, the better.
In other news, she's been teething like crazy and is about to gain her bottom eyeteeth. Which will mean that mostly just molars will be left. Something to look forward to, I guess!
Anyway, here are her stats from the visit:
Weight: 18.98 pounds (and I was sure she'd be 20 pounds and able to face front in the car seat!)
Length: 29.4 inches
Head: 18.1 inches
Since we didn't do much and didn't have much to discuss, the only thing I could find to be annoyed about this visit was the sample menu for a one year old. (I always have to find something to be annoyed with the pediatrician about!) Mostly it annoyed me because it seemed to consist primarily of dairy. Dairy and eggs are the only things we're still avoiding feeding her, because Matt was severely allergic to them as a child, and we figure that the longer we can avoid them, the better.
In other news, she's been teething like crazy and is about to gain her bottom eyeteeth. Which will mean that mostly just molars will be left. Something to look forward to, I guess!
2.18.2009
when does a baby become a toddler?
Anastasia has done so many new things in the past few months that it's hard to keep up. She's really turning from a baby into a toddler now, and it seems like every day she does a new trick.
The first big thing was over Christmas, when she started to really eat solid food. Of course we've been giving her food since she was six months old, but she never had much interest in it. She would pick it up, play with it, put it in her mouth, and spit it on the floor. I used to joke that I could tell how much she'd eaten--or hadn't eaten--by looking at the floor.
But on our trip to Virginia for Christmas, we stopped at Panera Bread for lunch, and I was enjoying my chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl so much that I decided to let her try a little of the bread. Up until then I'd been very cautious about what I'd given her--only whole foods with no added salt or sugar, no processed foods, etc.--but I figured she probably wouldn't eat it anyway. So I was completely surprised, and rather nonplussed, when she immediately swallowed the bit of soup-soaked bread I offered her and looked for more. She ended up eating quite a bit of it. Which just goes to show you that if you want to raise a child on healthy food in our society, you can never relax your guard. Not even for a second. The first time you offer them something processed and salty or sugary, it's all over.
Then, of course, while we were in Virginia she discovered Cheerios. My sister-in-law, Heidi, was feeding her daughter Olivia (who's the same age as Anastasia) Cheerios and other Gerber finger foods. Anastasia found some on the floor, and it was all over. Now she's decided that animal cookies will cure pretty much anything, and Cheerios are a blast. Meat, however, is one of her favorite foods. Especially if it's marinated in a nice tasty sauce.
But food isn't the only thing that's changing. She's working hard on walking, which I guess is the official changeover from babyhood to toddlerhood. She started pulling up on the furniture somewhere around ten months, and it seemed like no time at all before she started cruising and moving around while holding onto something. Next her favorite activity became walking while holding on to Mommy's fingers. She insisted on holding a finger in each hand, and then she could walk anywhere with great pride--and even run fast enough to make her breathe hard. Just a few days ago, Daddy convinced her that she could actually walk while holding on to only one hand, and now she's very proud of the trick: she stops to giggle and shriek with pride every few steps.
But the funniest new development, and the one that most makes me see how close toddlerhood really looms, is the attitude change. Anastasia has always been a high-strung baby who wanted exactly what she wanted and wouldn't put up with anything else. But already it seems to have multiplied tenfold. Recently she was having pain from molars coming in, and whenever she didn't get something that she wanted (usually something like crawling outside, which we would prevent by shutting the door), she would stop, put her hand to her jaw with a pathetic look, and scream at the top of her lungs. Her message was clear: "But I NEED that! I NEED it! Because my TEETH hurt!"
And in the past few days, she's started an entirely different type of scream. She used to scream like, well, a baby: it was a wail, a cry, a vocalization with many variations that all were clearly communicative. Now she's discovered a new type of cry: the mad scream. It happens when she doesn't like what's going on, when she doesn't get her way, and it's unmistakable. It's a long, drawn-out, guttural cry, like a cross between a scream and a growl. It says something entirely new, and it says it very clearly: "No! Mine! I want! Now!"
Yes, toddlerhood is definitely coming up far too fast.
The first big thing was over Christmas, when she started to really eat solid food. Of course we've been giving her food since she was six months old, but she never had much interest in it. She would pick it up, play with it, put it in her mouth, and spit it on the floor. I used to joke that I could tell how much she'd eaten--or hadn't eaten--by looking at the floor.
But on our trip to Virginia for Christmas, we stopped at Panera Bread for lunch, and I was enjoying my chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl so much that I decided to let her try a little of the bread. Up until then I'd been very cautious about what I'd given her--only whole foods with no added salt or sugar, no processed foods, etc.--but I figured she probably wouldn't eat it anyway. So I was completely surprised, and rather nonplussed, when she immediately swallowed the bit of soup-soaked bread I offered her and looked for more. She ended up eating quite a bit of it. Which just goes to show you that if you want to raise a child on healthy food in our society, you can never relax your guard. Not even for a second. The first time you offer them something processed and salty or sugary, it's all over.
Then, of course, while we were in Virginia she discovered Cheerios. My sister-in-law, Heidi, was feeding her daughter Olivia (who's the same age as Anastasia) Cheerios and other Gerber finger foods. Anastasia found some on the floor, and it was all over. Now she's decided that animal cookies will cure pretty much anything, and Cheerios are a blast. Meat, however, is one of her favorite foods. Especially if it's marinated in a nice tasty sauce.
But food isn't the only thing that's changing. She's working hard on walking, which I guess is the official changeover from babyhood to toddlerhood. She started pulling up on the furniture somewhere around ten months, and it seemed like no time at all before she started cruising and moving around while holding onto something. Next her favorite activity became walking while holding on to Mommy's fingers. She insisted on holding a finger in each hand, and then she could walk anywhere with great pride--and even run fast enough to make her breathe hard. Just a few days ago, Daddy convinced her that she could actually walk while holding on to only one hand, and now she's very proud of the trick: she stops to giggle and shriek with pride every few steps.
But the funniest new development, and the one that most makes me see how close toddlerhood really looms, is the attitude change. Anastasia has always been a high-strung baby who wanted exactly what she wanted and wouldn't put up with anything else. But already it seems to have multiplied tenfold. Recently she was having pain from molars coming in, and whenever she didn't get something that she wanted (usually something like crawling outside, which we would prevent by shutting the door), she would stop, put her hand to her jaw with a pathetic look, and scream at the top of her lungs. Her message was clear: "But I NEED that! I NEED it! Because my TEETH hurt!"
And in the past few days, she's started an entirely different type of scream. She used to scream like, well, a baby: it was a wail, a cry, a vocalization with many variations that all were clearly communicative. Now she's discovered a new type of cry: the mad scream. It happens when she doesn't like what's going on, when she doesn't get her way, and it's unmistakable. It's a long, drawn-out, guttural cry, like a cross between a scream and a growl. It says something entirely new, and it says it very clearly: "No! Mine! I want! Now!"
Yes, toddlerhood is definitely coming up far too fast.
12.04.2008
nine month well visit
On November 26, Anastasia went to the pediatrician for her nine-month visit. I do feel silly sometimes making these visits when I know perfectly well that she's not only well but intelligent, healthy, bright, and well above average. However, it's always nice to get outside confirmation of these things.
Anyway, she was 17.6 lbs, which is 30th percentile for her age; 28 inches tall (67%); and her head was 17.9 inches around (88%). She's already doing pretty much all the milestones from the 6 to 12 month handout the pediatrician gave me: sitting alone, reaching for things she wants, transferring objects between hands, crawling well, pulling herself to standing (not well yet, but that's a 12-month milestone), making noises to show her displeasure or satisfaction (this she does vehemently and constantly), looking for toys or balls that fall out of sight, becoming distressed if a toy is taken away (boy, does she ever!), responding to her name and recognizing our names, pushing toys away when she doesn't want them, playing patty cake, dancing and bouncing to music, and clapping her hands. Some people might disagree whether she's said her first word, but she regularly looks at me and says "Mama" when she wants me...and if that's not talking, I don't know what is. And, of course, she certainly "shows mild to severe anxiety at separation from parent." Make that, "screams in protest at the sight of Mommy's back, even if Mommy is just picking up toys or something and not actually leaving the room." But I don't mind. She has every right to insist on my presence. It won't be long before she'll be all too eager to get away from me. Sigh.
The one thing she hasn't done on the list is wave goodbye. Probably because I've never tried to teach that to her. Yet.
Although, on second thought, I've never tried to teach her any of these things.
When I read that she should "crawl well" by twelve months, I was curious whether her current method of motion qualified as "crawling well," so I asked the pediatrician and put Anastasia on the floor to demonstrate. Naturally, as soon as I put her down, she immediately began crawling away from me, eager to explore a new floor.
"Yes," the pediatrician said patiently, already tired of my unending exclamations about how advanced Anastasia is in every way, "she's definitely crawling."
According to the handout, we do have some exciting new developments to look forward to:
She might try to talk to herself in the mirror. She hasn't done that yet. Then again, she doesn't try to talk to other babies, either...just smiles and reaches for them, which is what she does to her image, too.
She might start offering toys or object to others but want them to be returned. So cute. Her friend Jubilant, who's six months older, does this to me in church all the time, and it never fails to crack me up. I can't wait till Anastasia is doing this one.
Ah. So fun to watch the changes--she really is different every day now. Not long ago she crawled away from me for the first time--it gave me quite a turn. I was in the bathroom (of course; wouldn't that be the way?), and I put her on the floor of the bathroom while I peed--which I always do. But this time, instead of sitting there happily looking for pieces of fuzz to eat as she usually does, Anastasia was no sooner on the floor than she was happily crawling away--out the bathroom door. I was too flabbergasted to be able to get off the toilet quickly.
Luckily Matt was home, so I called for him to come keep an eye on her while I caught up.
But I can understand all the cliches now. It really does seem like yesterday that she couldn't even control her arms, and now she's crawling away from me. Next thing I know she'll be driving and moving out of the house.
At least I'll always have the satisfaction of knowing I took advantage of every moment she did want to be with me and enjoyed it...
Anyway, she was 17.6 lbs, which is 30th percentile for her age; 28 inches tall (67%); and her head was 17.9 inches around (88%). She's already doing pretty much all the milestones from the 6 to 12 month handout the pediatrician gave me: sitting alone, reaching for things she wants, transferring objects between hands, crawling well, pulling herself to standing (not well yet, but that's a 12-month milestone), making noises to show her displeasure or satisfaction (this she does vehemently and constantly), looking for toys or balls that fall out of sight, becoming distressed if a toy is taken away (boy, does she ever!), responding to her name and recognizing our names, pushing toys away when she doesn't want them, playing patty cake, dancing and bouncing to music, and clapping her hands. Some people might disagree whether she's said her first word, but she regularly looks at me and says "Mama" when she wants me...and if that's not talking, I don't know what is. And, of course, she certainly "shows mild to severe anxiety at separation from parent." Make that, "screams in protest at the sight of Mommy's back, even if Mommy is just picking up toys or something and not actually leaving the room." But I don't mind. She has every right to insist on my presence. It won't be long before she'll be all too eager to get away from me. Sigh.
The one thing she hasn't done on the list is wave goodbye. Probably because I've never tried to teach that to her. Yet.
Although, on second thought, I've never tried to teach her any of these things.
When I read that she should "crawl well" by twelve months, I was curious whether her current method of motion qualified as "crawling well," so I asked the pediatrician and put Anastasia on the floor to demonstrate. Naturally, as soon as I put her down, she immediately began crawling away from me, eager to explore a new floor.
"Yes," the pediatrician said patiently, already tired of my unending exclamations about how advanced Anastasia is in every way, "she's definitely crawling."
According to the handout, we do have some exciting new developments to look forward to:
She might try to talk to herself in the mirror. She hasn't done that yet. Then again, she doesn't try to talk to other babies, either...just smiles and reaches for them, which is what she does to her image, too.
She might start offering toys or object to others but want them to be returned. So cute. Her friend Jubilant, who's six months older, does this to me in church all the time, and it never fails to crack me up. I can't wait till Anastasia is doing this one.
Ah. So fun to watch the changes--she really is different every day now. Not long ago she crawled away from me for the first time--it gave me quite a turn. I was in the bathroom (of course; wouldn't that be the way?), and I put her on the floor of the bathroom while I peed--which I always do. But this time, instead of sitting there happily looking for pieces of fuzz to eat as she usually does, Anastasia was no sooner on the floor than she was happily crawling away--out the bathroom door. I was too flabbergasted to be able to get off the toilet quickly.
Luckily Matt was home, so I called for him to come keep an eye on her while I caught up.
But I can understand all the cliches now. It really does seem like yesterday that she couldn't even control her arms, and now she's crawling away from me. Next thing I know she'll be driving and moving out of the house.
At least I'll always have the satisfaction of knowing I took advantage of every moment she did want to be with me and enjoyed it...
11.20.2008
Anastasia crawled!
Anastasia crawled this morning. Really crawled on her hands and knees, not belly-scootched like she's been doing for a while. We were in the bathroom. I was going to take a shower, so I put her on the floor with a bunch of toys while I got ready. As usual, when I set her down, she landed on her hands and knees and stayed there for a minute. Usually she rocks that way for a while and then lowers herself to her belly and moves around that way. But today, she sat there very still and serious for a minute, and then she crawled: first one hand, then one knee, and then the other hand, then the other knee. She went about four steps before she lowered herself to her belly to play with a toy. But after weeks of watching her get frustrated as she tried to do this, I was very impressed!
Now, of course, she already seems to have forgotten how she did it, because when she tried again later, she got frustrated again. But of course it's only a matter of time--and a very short time, it looks like--before she's moving all over the place too fast to keep up with. My easy days of babywatching are over. Time to get ready to run after her all over the house.
Other tricks she's learned recently:
* Clapping. Mary and I both occasionally have clapped for her when she did something cool, but she suddenly started imitating it without really much prompting. Now she does it on cue. "Clap your hands!" I'll say, and usually she'll respond by clapping them and giggling, a big grin on her face. Adorable.
* Peek-a-boo. I definitely didn't teach her this, and we only played it a couple of times before she figured it out. I really don't think I'd done it more than once or twice--you know, the whole thing where I put a blanket on her head and say, "Where's Anastasia?" and then whip it off with a triumphant, "There she is!" But after we'd done this a few times, Anastasia started doing it herself. The first time, she used a book. She put it on her head like a hat and looked at me expectantly, with an unmistakable "I'm-playing-a-game-now!" face.
"Where's Anastasia?" I asked agreeably, although I didn't really think she was going to do it. But sure enough, she waited just a minute--with an impressive sense of comedic timing--before whipping the book off her head and grinning at me. "There she is!"
She really is at the best age now. I think I say that all the time, but it's true what a neighbor told me: she just keeps getting better.
Now, of course, she already seems to have forgotten how she did it, because when she tried again later, she got frustrated again. But of course it's only a matter of time--and a very short time, it looks like--before she's moving all over the place too fast to keep up with. My easy days of babywatching are over. Time to get ready to run after her all over the house.
Other tricks she's learned recently:
* Clapping. Mary and I both occasionally have clapped for her when she did something cool, but she suddenly started imitating it without really much prompting. Now she does it on cue. "Clap your hands!" I'll say, and usually she'll respond by clapping them and giggling, a big grin on her face. Adorable.
* Peek-a-boo. I definitely didn't teach her this, and we only played it a couple of times before she figured it out. I really don't think I'd done it more than once or twice--you know, the whole thing where I put a blanket on her head and say, "Where's Anastasia?" and then whip it off with a triumphant, "There she is!" But after we'd done this a few times, Anastasia started doing it herself. The first time, she used a book. She put it on her head like a hat and looked at me expectantly, with an unmistakable "I'm-playing-a-game-now!" face.
"Where's Anastasia?" I asked agreeably, although I didn't really think she was going to do it. But sure enough, she waited just a minute--with an impressive sense of comedic timing--before whipping the book off her head and grinning at me. "There she is!"
She really is at the best age now. I think I say that all the time, but it's true what a neighbor told me: she just keeps getting better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
