Anastasia crawled this morning. Really crawled on her hands and knees, not belly-scootched like she's been doing for a while. We were in the bathroom. I was going to take a shower, so I put her on the floor with a bunch of toys while I got ready. As usual, when I set her down, she landed on her hands and knees and stayed there for a minute. Usually she rocks that way for a while and then lowers herself to her belly and moves around that way. But today, she sat there very still and serious for a minute, and then she crawled: first one hand, then one knee, and then the other hand, then the other knee. She went about four steps before she lowered herself to her belly to play with a toy. But after weeks of watching her get frustrated as she tried to do this, I was very impressed!
Now, of course, she already seems to have forgotten how she did it, because when she tried again later, she got frustrated again. But of course it's only a matter of time--and a very short time, it looks like--before she's moving all over the place too fast to keep up with. My easy days of babywatching are over. Time to get ready to run after her all over the house.
Other tricks she's learned recently:
* Clapping. Mary and I both occasionally have clapped for her when she did something cool, but she suddenly started imitating it without really much prompting. Now she does it on cue. "Clap your hands!" I'll say, and usually she'll respond by clapping them and giggling, a big grin on her face. Adorable.
* Peek-a-boo. I definitely didn't teach her this, and we only played it a couple of times before she figured it out. I really don't think I'd done it more than once or twice--you know, the whole thing where I put a blanket on her head and say, "Where's Anastasia?" and then whip it off with a triumphant, "There she is!" But after we'd done this a few times, Anastasia started doing it herself. The first time, she used a book. She put it on her head like a hat and looked at me expectantly, with an unmistakable "I'm-playing-a-game-now!" face.
"Where's Anastasia?" I asked agreeably, although I didn't really think she was going to do it. But sure enough, she waited just a minute--with an impressive sense of comedic timing--before whipping the book off her head and grinning at me. "There she is!"
She really is at the best age now. I think I say that all the time, but it's true what a neighbor told me: she just keeps getting better.
11.20.2008
11.05.2008
I'm happy to be a mom
The other day I read an article in The Atlantic Monthly that talked about happiness. It claimed that although people say their children make them happy, having them record their level of happiness at specific moments throughout the day shows that parenting actually isn't their favorite activity--it ranks just above housework. That annoyed me. Maybe most people don't like parenting, I thought, but I certainly do.
But when I thought about it more, I had to admit that parenting is hard work. There's a reason why I look forward to Matt coming home every night so I can let him play with Anastasia while I do something else. There's a reason why I'm always happy when our neighbor Mary comes over to play with the baby. And although I enjoy playing with her tremendously, I like getting breaks, too. It's hard to hardly ever be able to do anything for yourself.
And yet, I think there must be something more to happiness than mere day-to-day moments. Even if your perceived level of enjoyment of daily activities is lower while you're taking care of children, there is another level at which they make us much, much happier. There must be, or people wouldn't keep wanting them. Yesterday my sister called me in a bad mood. "I feel generally dissatisfied with life," she said. I was surprised by my own reaction, because of course I knew what she was talking about. Everyone feels generally dissatisfied with life sometimes, right? And yet when she said it, my reaction was more one of commiseration than identification. Oh yes, I thought. I remember what that feels like. When did I last feel that way? Of course. It was when I was pregnant.
But I haven't felt a moment of it since Anastasia was born.
Does that mean I'll live happily ever after? Not necessarily. I suppose there might come a time in my life when I will again feel a vague, general discontent with my life. But right now, I can't imagine ever feeling that again. Yes, my day-to-day life might be hard or boring or filled with uninteresting activities like figuring out how to get poop stains off my jeans. But the big picture of my life is changed irrevocably toward happiness. I am, as Chesterton says, "at peace with the universe," even if I might be "at war with the world."
There are plenty of explanations for why having children would give people such a deep overall satisfaction with life, even in the face of daily irritations. The easiest explanation is the scientific one: we are biologically designed to reproduce, so having accomplished that makes us feel that we've satisfied a lifelong need. And maybe that is why.
Or maybe it's that Anastasia is such a perfect, lovely, beautiful, and blessed being that her mere presence in my life is a light that illumines everything it touches, giving me an overriding sense of peace, fulfillment, and joy.
Yeah, that second one is definitely it.
But when I thought about it more, I had to admit that parenting is hard work. There's a reason why I look forward to Matt coming home every night so I can let him play with Anastasia while I do something else. There's a reason why I'm always happy when our neighbor Mary comes over to play with the baby. And although I enjoy playing with her tremendously, I like getting breaks, too. It's hard to hardly ever be able to do anything for yourself.
And yet, I think there must be something more to happiness than mere day-to-day moments. Even if your perceived level of enjoyment of daily activities is lower while you're taking care of children, there is another level at which they make us much, much happier. There must be, or people wouldn't keep wanting them. Yesterday my sister called me in a bad mood. "I feel generally dissatisfied with life," she said. I was surprised by my own reaction, because of course I knew what she was talking about. Everyone feels generally dissatisfied with life sometimes, right? And yet when she said it, my reaction was more one of commiseration than identification. Oh yes, I thought. I remember what that feels like. When did I last feel that way? Of course. It was when I was pregnant.
But I haven't felt a moment of it since Anastasia was born.
Does that mean I'll live happily ever after? Not necessarily. I suppose there might come a time in my life when I will again feel a vague, general discontent with my life. But right now, I can't imagine ever feeling that again. Yes, my day-to-day life might be hard or boring or filled with uninteresting activities like figuring out how to get poop stains off my jeans. But the big picture of my life is changed irrevocably toward happiness. I am, as Chesterton says, "at peace with the universe," even if I might be "at war with the world."
There are plenty of explanations for why having children would give people such a deep overall satisfaction with life, even in the face of daily irritations. The easiest explanation is the scientific one: we are biologically designed to reproduce, so having accomplished that makes us feel that we've satisfied a lifelong need. And maybe that is why.
Or maybe it's that Anastasia is such a perfect, lovely, beautiful, and blessed being that her mere presence in my life is a light that illumines everything it touches, giving me an overriding sense of peace, fulfillment, and joy.
Yeah, that second one is definitely it.
10.28.2008
things I regret
Not long ago I was reflecting on becoming a parent. And I surprised myself, because as I thought about it, I realized that there are very few, if any, things that I regret so far in the way that I've parented Anastasia. Of course I know that nobody can be a perfect mom. But so far, I feel like we've done pretty well.
But in the last few days, I've noticed a few mistakes I think I've made. I'm writing them here so I don't forget them, so I can do even better in the future--and for our next baby, if and when we have one.
So here are a few of the things I'll change in the future:
I wish I'd never started putting Anastasia down to sleep. In the past week I've been reading The Continuum Concept and Our Babies, Ourselves, and they made me realize that babies really are meant to be held and nursed all the time, at least until they're able to walk. Did you know that the !Kung San nurse their babies, on average, every thirteen minutes? Amazing. They carry them all the time in slings on their hips, and the babies just help themselves to milk whenever they want it. And Gusii babies are within five feet of someone more than 60% of the time, waking or sleeping, until they're over a year old. Usually they're in someone's lap or arms, or tied to someone's back. I was carrying Anastasia all the time, awake or asleep, up through three months, and most the time until four or five months. But then I started putting her down once she was asleep. It made it easier for me to do things--but she would cry when she woke up, and she didn't sleep as long. I thought she was getting too heavy to wear for naps, but that's silly. If all those tribal women can do it, well, so can I. So yesterday I put her in the sling to nap instead of swaddling her and putting her in her hammock, and we were both so much happier. She slept much longer, and she woke happy instead of crying. And I realized how much I missed having her close while she naps. So I'm back to wearing her all the time--right this minute, she's nestled in the sling, next to my heart, fast asleep.
I wish I'd started EC when she was born instead of when she was two weeks old. I keep telling myself that it couldn't have made too much of a difference in her signaling, and she's probably just one of those babies who won't signal much until she starts to become more verbal and communicative. But I wish I'd tried earlier. I think it might have made me better at knowing when she needs to go. Next time, I'll catch the meconium.
I wish I'd tried not eating dairy earlier. I don't think I could have done that differently, because I had no idea what to try. But it helped so much, I wish I'd figured it out earlier. I ate a cupcake this weekend to see what would happen (there's dairy in the icing), and Anastasia got sick from it yesterday. I can't believe I allowed her to be miserable like that for so long before I figured out what was bothering her. Next time, if my baby has problems, I'll go on an immediate total elimination diet before I allow it to suffer.
That's really all I can think of, though, so I guess I feel like I'm doing a lot of things right.
But in the last few days, I've noticed a few mistakes I think I've made. I'm writing them here so I don't forget them, so I can do even better in the future--and for our next baby, if and when we have one.
So here are a few of the things I'll change in the future:
I wish I'd never started putting Anastasia down to sleep. In the past week I've been reading The Continuum Concept and Our Babies, Ourselves, and they made me realize that babies really are meant to be held and nursed all the time, at least until they're able to walk. Did you know that the !Kung San nurse their babies, on average, every thirteen minutes? Amazing. They carry them all the time in slings on their hips, and the babies just help themselves to milk whenever they want it. And Gusii babies are within five feet of someone more than 60% of the time, waking or sleeping, until they're over a year old. Usually they're in someone's lap or arms, or tied to someone's back. I was carrying Anastasia all the time, awake or asleep, up through three months, and most the time until four or five months. But then I started putting her down once she was asleep. It made it easier for me to do things--but she would cry when she woke up, and she didn't sleep as long. I thought she was getting too heavy to wear for naps, but that's silly. If all those tribal women can do it, well, so can I. So yesterday I put her in the sling to nap instead of swaddling her and putting her in her hammock, and we were both so much happier. She slept much longer, and she woke happy instead of crying. And I realized how much I missed having her close while she naps. So I'm back to wearing her all the time--right this minute, she's nestled in the sling, next to my heart, fast asleep.
I wish I'd started EC when she was born instead of when she was two weeks old. I keep telling myself that it couldn't have made too much of a difference in her signaling, and she's probably just one of those babies who won't signal much until she starts to become more verbal and communicative. But I wish I'd tried earlier. I think it might have made me better at knowing when she needs to go. Next time, I'll catch the meconium.
I wish I'd tried not eating dairy earlier. I don't think I could have done that differently, because I had no idea what to try. But it helped so much, I wish I'd figured it out earlier. I ate a cupcake this weekend to see what would happen (there's dairy in the icing), and Anastasia got sick from it yesterday. I can't believe I allowed her to be miserable like that for so long before I figured out what was bothering her. Next time, if my baby has problems, I'll go on an immediate total elimination diet before I allow it to suffer.
That's really all I can think of, though, so I guess I feel like I'm doing a lot of things right.
10.21.2008
babies love to be carried
I had a sweet experience today at the grocery store. I was carrying Anastasia on my back (in my new Beco Butterfly). She was getting tired, but she's starting to like being on my back, and she was sitting there quietly while I shopped. A lady who worked at the supermarket saw me and asked, "Where are you from?"
Confused, I answered, "Atlanta."
"Oh, I didn't know people carried their babies on their backs like that here!" She was evidently delighted. "In my country, we all carry babies like that."
"Where are you from?" I asked her.
"Ethiopia," she said.
Well, of course everyone carries babies on their backs there! They do it everywhere outside of the western world. But, as I told my supermarket friend, we westerners are slowly catching up to some of the wisdom that a lot of cultures never lost. "Babies like to be carried," I said, reaching around to pat Anastasia, and my new friend smiled and nodded.
"Aaah," said Anastasia, which was her way of agreeing with us.
Confused, I answered, "Atlanta."
"Oh, I didn't know people carried their babies on their backs like that here!" She was evidently delighted. "In my country, we all carry babies like that."
"Where are you from?" I asked her.
"Ethiopia," she said.
Well, of course everyone carries babies on their backs there! They do it everywhere outside of the western world. But, as I told my supermarket friend, we westerners are slowly catching up to some of the wisdom that a lot of cultures never lost. "Babies like to be carried," I said, reaching around to pat Anastasia, and my new friend smiled and nodded.
"Aaah," said Anastasia, which was her way of agreeing with us.
10.09.2008
eight hours of sleep!?!
Last night Anastasia slept for eight hours straight. Actually eight and a half, from ten-thirty till seven. I don't think she's ever slept longer than five hours before, and that somewhat rarely, although I can't really be sure...now that she's big enough to pull my boob into her mouth by herself, I think I've slept through quite a few of her night wakings. Gotta love having her sleep in bed with me.
So I ought to have felt wonderful today after such a long sleep, but of course I didn't sleep for eight hours. I didn't go to bed till midnight, and I woke up at five. That's when Anastasia has been waking up for breakfast, until today. I did go back to sleep until seven, but, well, it's not the same as straight hours of sleep.
Or is it that I'm more tired now because I got enough rest to feel how tired I've been?
The funniest part is that I don't even mind her night wakings any more...in fact, I kind of missed them this morning. I lay awake for a while at five this morning hoping she would wake up. I wasn't about to wake her, of course, or move or breathe loudly in a way that might disturb her, but, well, I lay there looking at her, waiting for her to wake. I knew she was going to. But she just sighed and moved her arm a little, and slept on. After a while, I fell asleep too, still expecting her to wake and want to nurse.
I already can tell I'm going to miss all the night nursings as she gradually outgrows them.
Ah, well. Ten to one she'll wake every two hours tonight.
So I ought to have felt wonderful today after such a long sleep, but of course I didn't sleep for eight hours. I didn't go to bed till midnight, and I woke up at five. That's when Anastasia has been waking up for breakfast, until today. I did go back to sleep until seven, but, well, it's not the same as straight hours of sleep.
Or is it that I'm more tired now because I got enough rest to feel how tired I've been?
The funniest part is that I don't even mind her night wakings any more...in fact, I kind of missed them this morning. I lay awake for a while at five this morning hoping she would wake up. I wasn't about to wake her, of course, or move or breathe loudly in a way that might disturb her, but, well, I lay there looking at her, waiting for her to wake. I knew she was going to. But she just sighed and moved her arm a little, and slept on. After a while, I fell asleep too, still expecting her to wake and want to nurse.
I already can tell I'm going to miss all the night nursings as she gradually outgrows them.
Ah, well. Ten to one she'll wake every two hours tonight.
9.04.2008
look out world: here comes baby!
Yesterday, Anastasia started crawling.
Ok, so it wasn't exactly crawling--more like Army crawling, or scootching on her elbows and stomach as she pushes forward with her feet. But either way, she's definitely mobile now. I can measure her progress in feet instead of inches.
The funny thing is she's been able to move herself a little bit for a while now, and I don't know when it all came together. I discovered it yesterday because I left her by herself for a minute in the bedroom while I did something in the living room. I left her in the middle of our bed (which is just a mattress on the floor), happily playing with my library book. I could hear her making happy sounds when I was in the other room, so I knew she was fine. When the happy sounds suddenly changed to crying (as they often do at this age, very suddenly, for no apparent reason), I immediately rushed back into the bedroom to see what was wrong.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered her not in the middle of the bed, where I'd left her, but several yards away in the middle of the bedroom floor.
I wasn't worried about the fact that she'd gotten off the bed; she's rolled off it several times before, and I have the floor all around it lined with pillows and towels to soften the fall. The fact that she'd traveled so far did surprise me, though, because she's never done that before. But mostly it was the fact that she wasn't on her side as though she'd been rolling; she was on her belly, and it was obvious that she's been dragging herself along. She'd finally figured out crawling.
Naturally, after I picked her up and comforted her, I tried to get her to do it again. I set her down on the bed, and sure enough, she immeidately started dragging herself along, scootching with her elbows and knees, her head up high and a huge, goofy grin on her face. But when I went to grab the video camera so I could capture the magic moment on tape, she stopped. Of course. She's a little performer--she loves to do tricks when people are watching--but she hasn't figured out yet that the camera is fun to perform for, too.
Ok, so it wasn't exactly crawling--more like Army crawling, or scootching on her elbows and stomach as she pushes forward with her feet. But either way, she's definitely mobile now. I can measure her progress in feet instead of inches.
The funny thing is she's been able to move herself a little bit for a while now, and I don't know when it all came together. I discovered it yesterday because I left her by herself for a minute in the bedroom while I did something in the living room. I left her in the middle of our bed (which is just a mattress on the floor), happily playing with my library book. I could hear her making happy sounds when I was in the other room, so I knew she was fine. When the happy sounds suddenly changed to crying (as they often do at this age, very suddenly, for no apparent reason), I immediately rushed back into the bedroom to see what was wrong.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered her not in the middle of the bed, where I'd left her, but several yards away in the middle of the bedroom floor.
I wasn't worried about the fact that she'd gotten off the bed; she's rolled off it several times before, and I have the floor all around it lined with pillows and towels to soften the fall. The fact that she'd traveled so far did surprise me, though, because she's never done that before. But mostly it was the fact that she wasn't on her side as though she'd been rolling; she was on her belly, and it was obvious that she's been dragging herself along. She'd finally figured out crawling.
Naturally, after I picked her up and comforted her, I tried to get her to do it again. I set her down on the bed, and sure enough, she immeidately started dragging herself along, scootching with her elbows and knees, her head up high and a huge, goofy grin on her face. But when I went to grab the video camera so I could capture the magic moment on tape, she stopped. Of course. She's a little performer--she loves to do tricks when people are watching--but she hasn't figured out yet that the camera is fun to perform for, too.
8.30.2008
six months old
On Tuesday, August 26, Anastasia had her six-month pediatric visit. Her stats:
* weight: 15.3 lbs (38%...still skinny)
* height: 26.98 in. (88%)
* head circumference: 17.3 in. (88%)
Although I don't know why they always measure the head circumference. To make sure her brain is growing, perhaps? But I knew that.
In other news, today (August 30), she tried her first solid food. I can't say why I hesitated to let her try solid food until now; I just didn't feel ready for it. Maybe the same reason I didn't give her a pacifier for such a long time; I just love nursing her so much and don't want anything to interfere with that in any way. But today my mom was down to visit, so we thought we'd give her a little avocado to try it.
Except the avocados which we'd bought for that purpose (all right, it was a week ago, but still) had already gone bad.
Fortunately, we had some banana as well, so we decided to try that instead.
However, it wasn't much of a success. I mushed a little bit of banana on my palm and held it out for her to examine. She studied it thoughtfully for several minutes before dipping her fingers in it and stuffing her hand in her mouth. We weren't sure if she was actually getting any banana in her mouth, since she seemed to be putting a different part of her hand in her mouth than the part that had banana on it. Evidently Anastasia had the same concern, because after a few of these attempts she abandoned her hand entirely. She opened her mouth wide and lunged it at my open hand, where the banana rested invitingly. That enabled her to get a pretty significant mouthful.
She then sat up and mouthed it experimentally. For a minute it seemed like she was quite pleased with herself, but then she made a horrible face and started coughing and gagging. She was clearly still breathing fine, so we weren't worried, but she didn't seem very pleased.
I figured she was probably done with solids for now, but apparently the lure of the banana was just too much to resist, because a minute later she again plunged open-mouthed toward it. But again, it caused her to cough and gag; I guess she was gulping up more than she could chew! This time she started protesting and crying, so we picked her up, patted her back a bit to make sure nothing was stuck, washed her off, and nursed her.
Which made her much, much happier. She kept pausing while nursing to look up at me reprovingly. "Now, this is food, Mom!" she seemed to be saying. "I don't know what you were thinking with that banana stuff! This is the real thing. This is all I need." And with these thoughts apparently on her mind, she drifted happily off to sleep.
So much for growing up too fast. Deep down, I'm rather pleased. We'll try again in a week or so and see if she likes it better then.
* weight: 15.3 lbs (38%...still skinny)
* height: 26.98 in. (88%)
* head circumference: 17.3 in. (88%)
Although I don't know why they always measure the head circumference. To make sure her brain is growing, perhaps? But I knew that.
In other news, today (August 30), she tried her first solid food. I can't say why I hesitated to let her try solid food until now; I just didn't feel ready for it. Maybe the same reason I didn't give her a pacifier for such a long time; I just love nursing her so much and don't want anything to interfere with that in any way. But today my mom was down to visit, so we thought we'd give her a little avocado to try it.
Except the avocados which we'd bought for that purpose (all right, it was a week ago, but still) had already gone bad.
Fortunately, we had some banana as well, so we decided to try that instead.
However, it wasn't much of a success. I mushed a little bit of banana on my palm and held it out for her to examine. She studied it thoughtfully for several minutes before dipping her fingers in it and stuffing her hand in her mouth. We weren't sure if she was actually getting any banana in her mouth, since she seemed to be putting a different part of her hand in her mouth than the part that had banana on it. Evidently Anastasia had the same concern, because after a few of these attempts she abandoned her hand entirely. She opened her mouth wide and lunged it at my open hand, where the banana rested invitingly. That enabled her to get a pretty significant mouthful.
She then sat up and mouthed it experimentally. For a minute it seemed like she was quite pleased with herself, but then she made a horrible face and started coughing and gagging. She was clearly still breathing fine, so we weren't worried, but she didn't seem very pleased.
I figured she was probably done with solids for now, but apparently the lure of the banana was just too much to resist, because a minute later she again plunged open-mouthed toward it. But again, it caused her to cough and gag; I guess she was gulping up more than she could chew! This time she started protesting and crying, so we picked her up, patted her back a bit to make sure nothing was stuck, washed her off, and nursed her.
Which made her much, much happier. She kept pausing while nursing to look up at me reprovingly. "Now, this is food, Mom!" she seemed to be saying. "I don't know what you were thinking with that banana stuff! This is the real thing. This is all I need." And with these thoughts apparently on her mind, she drifted happily off to sleep.
So much for growing up too fast. Deep down, I'm rather pleased. We'll try again in a week or so and see if she likes it better then.
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